Much has been written about how to be a great host, but what about being a great guest—especially when staying longer than just a few days? Being a guest comes with responsibilities, whether you are close family or a distant acquaintance staying in someone’s home. Hosting friends and family is fun, but it can also be exhausting.
Having lived abroad for as long as we have, we’ve had our fair share of guests. This is a collection of points that not just we’ve learned, but also many of our friends living abroad have experienced. If you want to make your host’s life easier and ensure you’re invited back, here’s how to be a great guest:
Clear Communication
The foundation of a pleasant stay is good communication. Confirm your travel dates early and keep your host updated about your plans. Let them know your arrival time and any changes. Equally important, don’t keep them guessing about your departure date.
If you’ve got special plans, like meeting other friends or exploring independently, tell them in advance. This helps avoid any misunderstandings and gives your host a chance to plan their own time.
Do Your Research
Unless your host insists on being your tour guide and travel agent, don’t arrive unprepared and expect them to organise everything for you. Have at least a rough idea of what you’d like to see and do. Communication beforehand is key here. Read up about the destination online or get a travel guide from your local library. Your host’s time is valuable and they’ll appreciate your initiative.
Respect Routines
Be mindful of your host’s routines and day-to-day life. You might be on holiday, but your host isn’t. Their life carries on. They may have work obligations, children’s activities, exercise routines or volunteer commitments. Even if they don’t have a job due to visa or other reasons, it’s not fair to assume they’ll drop everything for your visit. Be considerate and flexible with your plans.
Dietary Requirements
If you follow a certain diet or have dietary restrictions, clear communication is essential. In many countries, it can be difficult or expensive to cater for specific dietary needs. Don’t expect your host to scramble around trying to source obscure ingredients, only for them to go uneaten because they’re not what you’re used to. If you need something special, bring it along if customs regulations allow. And when in doubt, be ready to compromise.
What to Bring
Arriving empty-handed isn’t ideal. While it’s not always necessary to bring something elaborate, a small gift for your host is a thoughtful way to show your appreciation. This could be a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates or a local specialty from your hometown. In any case avoid gifting clutter; gifts that can be consumed are best. If your host is someone close, you could even ask if there’s something specific they’d like you to bring.
Another considerate gesture is to offer to bring your own bedsheets and towels. While this is usually not required, it’s a nice way to show that you’re mindful of the extra work hosting entails. Even if your host declines, they’ll likely appreciate the thought.
Keep Tidy
Don’t take over your host’s home. Leaving your belongings scattered all over their space is disrespectful. If you have devices and chargers, keep them in your bedroom/ sleeping area, not all over the kitchen countertop. If you have children travelling with you, tidy up their toys and belongings at the end of each day. Your hosts will appreciate you respecting their space.
If you’re doing some washing while you’re there, make sure to tidy your clothes away as soon as they are dry. Don’t let them sit in the dryer/ on the washing line for days on end.
Bathroom Etiquette
When there’s no dedicated guest bathroom, being considerate is especially important. Avoid leaving personal items like toiletries scattered around and don’t use your host’s toiletries without permission. Bring your own shampoo, toothpaste and other essentials. Be mindful of your host’s routines and try to coordinate shower times, especially during busy mornings. Keep the bathroom tidy by wiping down surfaces after use and emptying the bin if necessary. Thoughtfulness in shared spaces goes a long way.
Also hang up your wet towels to dry rather than leaving them on the bed or other pieces of furniture.
House Rules
Every home has its own set of rules and it’s important to follow them. Ask your host about their preferences, or observe and adapt. Common house rules might include:
- Shoes On or Off: Many households prefer shoes to be removed at the door to keep floors clean. Always ask or follow their lead. (I’ve written about this topic here.)
- Pets: If your host has pets, don’t feed or interact with them without permission. Some animals have special diets or may not be used to guests. Also don’t assume your pets are welcome without checking with your host first.
- Furniture Use: Avoid letting kids jump on furniture or eating meals on the sofa unless your host says it’s okay. Respect their belongings and space.
- Quiet Hours: Be mindful of noise levels, especially early in the morning or late at night. Your host may have neighbours or a routine that requires peace and quiet.
- Smoking/ Vaping: If you smoke or vape, ask where it’s allowed or if it’s prohibited entirely.
- Electricity and Utilities: Be mindful of your energy usage. Don’t leave lights, air conditioning or heating running when you leave a room or the house. (Hot) water may also be limited in some households, so avoid taking long showers.
- Inviting Others: Avoid bringing random people to your host’s home, whether it’s after a night out or unplanned meetups. If you’d like to invite a friend over, always ask your host for permission beforehand.
By respecting your host’s house rules, you’ll ensure a more harmonious stay and show your host that you value their home.
A Great Guest Helps Out
Staying with friends or family isn’t the same as staying in a hotel. Offer to help with household chores, like washing up, setting the table or cooking a meal. If your hosts have children, consider offering to babysit one evening so they can enjoy a date night away from their kids and their guests. Small gestures can go a long way in showing your gratitude.
Contribute Financially
If you’re staying longer than a few days, especially with kids or other family members, offer to chip in. A thoughtful gesture is doing a big supermarket shop for everyone or covering the cost of some meals. Groceries can be surprisingly expensive in certain parts of the world and your host shouldn’t feel financially burdened by your visit. If you use your host’s car (don’t take just assume you can use it) when visiting or your host takes you around with their car, offer to pay for fuel.
Dining Out and Activities
When dining out or doing activities together, make sure you’re not expecting your host to foot the bill every time. Even if you’ve spent a lot on travelling to get there, it doesn’t mean your host’s expenses are negligible. Offering to treat them to a meal or two as a thank-you is always a kind gesture.
Know When to Leave
Don’t overstay your welcome. How long is too long? That depends on the relationship and circumstances, but assuming you can stay indefinitely just because you’re family isn’t a good approach. Talk openly about the length of your stay and respect any boundaries your host sets.
When You Leave
Before you go, make sure you leave your space as you found it. Empty your bin, pack up all your belongings and clean up after yourself. Leaving behind rubbish like apple cores, used tissues or kids’ nappies is a surefire way to sour the experience. Check with your host if they’d like you to strip the bed and place the bedsheets and towels in the washing machine. Some hosts appreciate the help, while others prefer to handle it themselves.
Make sure to leave your guest room or sleeping area neat and tidy as a final thank-you.
Enjoy hosting friends & family? Take a look here.
More travel tips for you to discover:
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