Shoes On or Off? A Guide to Etiquette When Visiting Someone’s Home

Shoes on or off indoors? It’s a seemingly simple question that can spark surprisingly strong opinions! As someone who generally opts to leave shoes by the door, I believe there’s more to this choice than just comfort—it’s about respect, upbringing and hygiene. Let’s unpack this a bit.

Shoes Off: A Sign of Respect

Taking off your footwear in someone’s home can feel like a small gesture, but it often speaks volumes about respect. For me, this habit goes back to my upbringing, where it was a sign of courtesy (and hygiene) to leave outdoor shoes at the entrance. Living in Japan only solidified this practice. In Japanese culture, it’s customary to remove shoes before entering a home, a tradition rooted in cleanliness and respect. This cultural experience has shaped my approach further and I still feel a strong sense of appreciation for the act of leaving shoes at the door.

It’s Not Just Tradition—It’s Hygiene

Let’s be honest: outdoor footwear tracks in all sorts of unpleasantness from the outside world. From dirt to who-knows-what-else, those soles have seen some pretty grim things! Leaving shoes on indoors feels a bit like inviting all that muck into a clean space. So, aside from cultural or habitual reasons, there’s a very practical motivation for the shoes-off rule: keeping floors cleaner and reducing the need for constant mopping or vacuuming.

When in Rome: Following Your Host’s Lead

Now, what do you do when you’re a guest in someone else’s home? The best cue comes from your host. Are they wearing outdoor shoes inside? If so, it’s probably okay for you to do the same. If they’re in socks or slippers, it’s a pretty clear hint that they prefer a shoes-off household.

If you’re still unsure, don’t hesitate to ask. In my experience, people are more than happy to clarify their preference, even if it feels awkward for them to bring it up first.

“It’s Up to You”—But Is It Really?

Here’s the trickiest scenario: your host tells you that it’s up to you. In these cases, I’d err on the side of caution and go barefoot or slip on socks. Why? Because more often than not, they’re being polite and may actually prefer the shoes-off approach but don’t want to impose. Better to be safe (and considerate) than sorry!

In Our House

In our home it’s shoes off, unless we’re hosting a big party. There’s something welcoming about a relaxed, shoes-off environment where everyone can make themselves at home. For gatherings, though, we make an exception because it’s simply more practical with a larger crowd plus ours guests most likely have made an effort getting dressed up for the occasion,